Have you ever felt completely hopeless? Stuck, blocked and confused? No matter what you were doing, it just didn’t work?
That was me around age 30.
My life was just not working and I felt complete despair.
Fortunately I had a daughter to live for or who knows what I might have done.
Like many people, my unhappiness came from not believing I was good enough.
I grew up wanting to be loved for me.
I wanted love to always be there, not given sometimes and taken away at others, depending on how I was “performing”.
I wanted to be appreciated for being me – not compared to others and asked “why I couldn’t be more like so and so?”
I wanted to be allowed to feel and express my emotions and to be comforted and validated for those, not shamed, punished or shut down.
Instead I was told I was too sensitive and discouraged from expressing my feelings –even the joyful ones were too loud or disturbing.
My mother proudly told the story of how she cured me from having temper tantrums by throwing a glass of water in my face when I was two years old.
For her own reasons, my mother was not very affectionate. When I was injured or upset, she would give me something sweet. I realize now that was her way of showing she loved me, however, it taught me to soothe my feelings with sweets and left me feeling starved for physical affection.
Mom was a perfectionist and when I came home from school with 98%, she wanted to know where the other two marks had gone. Coming second instead of first in my class was not acceptable.
Consequently I grew up being a perfectionist and believing no matter what I accomplished, it was never good enough. I struggled with my emotions and found it near to impossible to express my feelings.
And I repeatedly looked to men to make me feel loved, which is not a healthy foundation for a loving relationship. Rather, it is highly manipulative. But I did not know that at that time, so my relationships were either unhappy or I would stay alone for years at a time.
My challenges led to my choice of career as an Early Childhood Education professor, where I did my best to ensure young children were encouraged, loved, and appreciated for themselves. I wanted to make sure other people didn’t go through the same thing I had.
Despite my successful career, I still felt not good enough, and I continued to search for whatever would help me feel happier.
How can anyone create a successful life when they believe there’s nothing good about themselves?
You just can’t, because your internal beliefs determine what you create in the outer world.
My search for how to make myself happier led me into spirituality, which opened doors to greater freedom and joy. I learned about forgiveness and that people are always doing the best they could, under the circumstances they are in.
Spirituality led to metaphysics and each expansion opened my eyes to greater understanding of the human journey.
And life became easier for me!
I studied with the late Debbie Ford, New York Times best-selling author of The Dark Side of the Lightchasers, including coaching training through her institute. Shadow work made a profound difference to me. I learned how to be authentic and true to myself.
I was finally happier and inspired to help others who wanted to love themselves more and to create the lives of their dreams.
I embrace my sensitivity now, instead of feeling it is a curse. My clients value my nurturing and gentle nature and the safe space I create for them to be their authentic selves.
Now, I work with people who are ready to do deep transformational work around their emotions. I help others eliminate their blocks to the lives they desire.
I am passionate about teaching and guiding others to be authentic; to love themselves just as they are; and that they can create anything they desire. I show them that If they have a desire, then they also have the means to make it happen, even if they can’t see how in the moment.
It is never too late to change your life, no matter how old you are. If you are not completely happy with any aspect of your life, you have the power and ability to change it.
And, it’s much easier to do with the support of someone else who has succeeded and has the skills, training and heart to help you achieve your goals.
When you know that you are lovable, you can create awesome, loving relationships. You won’t settle for less because you love yourself enough to know you only deserve the best.
When you love yourself enough to express your authentic self, rather than trying to be what you think others want, you are on the way to creating true ease, joy and happiness. You draw people to you who resonate with your light.
I love being older for the wisdom and perspective I’ve acquired. I enjoy longer and more frequent times of grace, where I feel blessed, grateful, and inspired. I would not be where I am without all the experiences I had. I believe this is true for everyone. You can find the hidden gold in anything you’ve experienced, if you are willing to dig for it.